Stephen King writes the inescapable conclusion to Wednesday’s shooting in Lewiston, Maine.

“There is no solution to the gun problem, and little more to write, because Americans are addicted to firearms.”

The Onion’s headline read once again:

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Published Thursday 9:02AM

LEWISTON, ME—In the hours following a violent rampage in Maine in which a lone attacker killed at least 18 individuals and injured numerous others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said Idaho resident Peter Carter, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this individual from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what they really wanted.” At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past eight years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.”

The Onion has run this story multiple times, changing only the locations and the number of victims. This shooting claimed the life of a fourteen year old boy, a seventy-six year old man, and sixteen others. Thirteen were hospitalized. And he committed suicide. All that’s left is grief….and yes, those pesky but effective thoughts and prayers. Let’s all play.