What I believe…
A friend of mine was volunteering to caddy for a golfer in a minor league tournament. He knew the Windsor course. His pro didn’t. When my friend told the pro where the trouble was (trees, sand bunkers, water) , the pro responded, “Don’t tell me where the trouble is. I only want to know where I should hit it.” I was impressed with that, and not just for my golf game.
Later I was playing golf with friends. I was teasing one of them by telling him about that conversation. To illustrate I saw a lake by the tee that only the worst shot in the world would find a ball. I said, “For example, it wouldn’t be possible for you to hit your ball into that water, would it? It’s not even close to the tee.” And of course he did. And everyone laughed. He teed up another ball and said, “David, your thought about thinking where you want to hit it didn’t work.” I asked him, “How so?”. He said, “I wanted to drive this ball up your ass!” Again, more laughter.
When I left Cardinal Newman teachers asked me, “Why don’t you take a leave of absence? That way you’ll have something to fall back on.” I replied, “If I did I would introduce the possibility that I might fail. I can’t allow that.” Just introducing the thought that things won’t work out the way I would have wanted would have diluted and sapped the energy I needed to succeed..
When I left Cardinal Newman, Bob Moratto, the father of one of my students, a man who liked and respected me, offered to buy David Buchholz Photography and subsidize Jadyne and me by paying our salaries for five years, at which time the business would be evaluated and we would be able to buy his 50% share for whatever the business was worth then. My family was relieved. My attorney friend John drew up a very long partnership agreement that I had planned to sign. I took it over to Bob and said, “I have both good and bad news. I have the agreement, but I can’t sign it. I need to know that I can succeed on my own.” My parents believed I had made a mistake.
Failure is always a possibility. However, the less time, energy, or thought you give to it the more likely you will succeed. The “what ifs”, the accommodation of its presence in your thinking, weakens you. Don’t let it in.. And like computer malware, once in it will infect you. You’ve diminished your chances of succeeding. “What would we do if things don’t work out” means that you have introduced that possibility into your thinking.
The golfer can put the ball into the lake. Then what would he do? He’d drop another ball and move on. He needs to think of only one thing—hitting the ball where he wants to hit it. You must think that you will succeed. And if you don’t, well, that’s the only time to consider what you would do next, when you have to and not a second before then. Not a second.
I needed to know that I absolutely had to succeed in my photography and not imagine that I might fail or plan for an alternative. I had a wife and three kids to support. Failure wasn’t an option. Success requires that kind of thinking. Absolutely requires it.
Did I know all this when I was younger? No. When I look back on whatever challenges I’ve had, I’ve discovered that fully believing and embracing that I would succeed is the common thread that ran through them all, just as it does this morning, the third week of my booted convalescence. After I broke my ankle I began to think of all the activities I could do while recovering. Creating the blog entry “Metamorphosis” was one, photographing visiting birds was another, adding to my hours of reading was a third. I asked my doc, “What can I do?” He responded, “Ab crunches.” That’s a fourth. Feeling sorry for myself wasn’t on the list.
Five days later. Some of what I wrote was easier written than done. After twenty-two days of almost complete inactivity I’m finding it a bit harder to generate positive thoughts as easily as I did when I first wrote this. Maybe I am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My blood pressure is off the charts. Yesterday Jadyne and Gail went on a glorious hike in Alvarado Park while I, of course, remained home. Last night i dreamt that I was delivering food from a wheelchair. Our real lives become our dreams.