…that is, if you’re a football fan rooting for the hometown 49ers or the team you’ve followed since they were formed in the late sixties, the Cincinnati Bengals. Six hours, one extra-large, half-baked pepperoni sausage, and mushroom Zachary’s pizza, one bottle of La Crema Chardonnay, a homemade salad, the delightful company of my high school friend Gail Stern, and at the end, two losses. The Niners and the Bengals are going home, and in both cases, wondering where and how it all went wrong.
For the Niners it was immediately obvious. They failed to challenge an incorrect call which led to an Eagles touchdown, and their storybook quarterback Brock Purdy’s first fumble, which caused him to leave the game. led to yet another touchdown. The Niners went through four quarterbacks this season, beginning with Trey Lance, who was injured in the first game, Jimmy Garoppolo, injured shortly after, and in the game yesterday, Brock Purdy. A 36 year old journeyman quarterback took his place in an ignominious performance, left with a concussion, and the show was over. Anger, frustration and penalties all played a part in the overwhelming defeat the 49ers suffered at the hands of the number one seeded team. Yes, they made mistakes, but those weren’t what caused the loss.
In Cincinnati’s loss to Kansas City, it was one mistake, one simple, totally avoidable mistake that ended their season.
Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but the severity of a mistake is magnified if it’s made at the worst possible moment. And Ossai’s was. Game tied at 20-20. Injured Mahomes ran out of bounds with eight seconds left on the clock. Though out of bounds Ossai pushed him down, giving KC another 15 yards, enough to give their kicker a good opportunity for a field goal. He made it. Three seconds left. Game over.
Losing is never easy. When John lost his first soccer game he cried. He had played for more than a year with teams that had never lost a game. He was more shocked than disappointed, thinking unconsciously that losing wasn’t even an option. Much later in his soccer journey he was angry that his high school soccer team lost by a score of 10-0. He said, “It wasn’t the score. My teammates gave up.” In eight years he had learned all that he needed about winning and losing.
Vince Lombardi, the late Green Bay Packers coach, is the source of inspirational quotes about winning and losing. I tried to find one that might apply to Donald John Trump, the former President, but nothing applies. In Lombardi’s quotes, winners are defined by the will to win, the effort, energy, and hard work required to succeed, the dedication to the job, determination, perseverance, self-denial, and sacrifice. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary,” he said.
None of Lombardi’s quotes deals with a person who denies that he lost. Even when the evidence is irrefutable. Trump lost the popular vote in 2016 and 2020; his favored candidates in 2022 lost; he was impeached twice, yet he has never accepted responsibility or blame for his mistakes, for having failed. “I am your favorite President,” he has said. He believes his face belongs on Mount Rushmore. He has made countless mistakes, the worst of which have cost lives. His latest Asian racist statements will alienate Asian votes as Trump tries to make himself relevant. He will fail. He will lose. He won’t admit it.
Joseph Ossai will learn from his mistake. His teammates have looked to mistakes they made that might have changed the result. The Niners, I have no idea, what they’ll look back on. Their loss wasn’t as much a case of lack of will, perseverance, or other Lombari-ish aphorisms, but circumstances over which they had no control.
And thinking that we’re in control is the biggest mistake of all.